Dairy of a Red Dress

There's this thing about being up and alone on the 12th floor at 2am. The silence of the night, the backlit keyboard, the darkened room with the monitors as the only sources of light. A cigarette burns in my hand while I tap away at the keyboard posting another entry.

The sound of a car racing by in the distance breaks the silence. The occasional cats fighting, the sky lit by lights from fellow insomniacs. It all sets a mood.

The whirr of fans in the cpu accompanies me.

Just having got back from Conrad after a great but rather short evening out. She was dressed in a red dress. The rest of the world became black and white with only the dress having colour. It reminds me of the opening scene of a movie I recently watched.

There's the sparkle in her eyes and they catch my attention. I look deep into them wondering what kinds of feelings they portray. We have a lot to talk about as always. We don't seem to run out of topics. I feel a certain chemistry there but I'll wait and see if she feels it too.

I image of her in the scarlet dress is burned in my mind and I'll carry it with me always.

Proverbusters

"Lightning never strikes the same place twice" - Proverb

I stand here with fact that lightning does strike the same place twice. Whomever's the idiot that came up with that proverb's obviously not an employee of SR.

Not only does ligtning strike more than once at the same place, it pretty much does the same damage to the equipment as well.

Besides the lightning strike, today was rather uneventful. Although I think A's falling sick big time. She was complaining of gastric pains on saturday evening (which after Timbre I headed straight home), is suffering from a mild fever today.

I think I've become more stoic with age...I don't know why but alot of my passions are gone and I'm beginning to feel more indifferent now.

Who else can I blame but myself right?

Justification

I used to be the easy-going, carefree person but events in the past couple of years has taught me one thing. It's better to be just that little bit anal retentive and make sure you've got yourself covered.

I hated confrontations and hated situations where it would put a strain on friendships or relationships but things have happened in a way where, well, it's become unavoidable.

I suppose after having my easy-going nature taken advantage of one too many times, I was prepared to harden myself. It no longer mattered if whatever I did was diplomatic or not.

I'm beginning to understand why popular politics and leadership never works here. People just take advantage of it.

What a sick world it is that we live in. It's pathetic.

Leadership is earned, not thrust upon

There's a contridiction in terms there. I do believe that respect is earned and not a given but leadership?

Well, I've seen situations whereby a person is thrown into the position of being a leader even when the person is totally inept and incompetent.

Most of the time, a leader is chosen when the highest ranking person is no longer allowed thus the 2 I/C takes over. In my case, it's be thrust upon me but without the benefits.

I figured that it's more of an excuse to make use of the person to the max. Pushing someone to the limit. I'm fine with that except that the reparations aren't there. Oh well...such is the life.