The Story of My Life...(more like what's in my head at the moment)

Lets not start with the usual popping outta momma but fast forward instead, to the present.

Here I am, sitting infront of my computer, at 11pm, contemplating what's so important about my life and what I can make of it. 

I'm a lazy person and a procrastinator by nature.  Is it normal?  Well, it depends, doesn't it?

I become lazy and procrastinate when I have to do things that I don't want to.  Otherwise, I suppose, you could call me a somewhat regular guy.  It's intesresting because "regular" is as beauty, in the eyes of the beholder but we tend to group ourselves socially.

I'm and introverted extrovert.  Sounds like rhetorical nonesense doesn't it?  Here, let me explain...

I love getting attention for what I am and what I do.  But I hate being in a crowd.  If at all possible, I'd probably be happy staying put at home all day, staring at my computer screen with someone I love in my arms. I love lots of people.  There's the usual family love, friendly love, and that someone (or two) special that just sticks in your mind and refuses to get out no matter how hard you try. Would I even want to try anyway? I have no idea; because I've never wanted to.

I enjoy people talking behind my back...good things that is; or even when someone envies me and talks behind my back. Afterall, what's behind my back should hopefully, stay there.  I don't think I'd like someone to idolise me.  Anyone can, if they wanted to.  Afterall, I did say that I was a kinda regular guy.

Are you still reading this?  Or have you moved on to some other more interesting website?

Well, good.  Looks like I've managed to keep your attention till here.  Don't worry, I'm not out to sell you anything or ask you to spend any money (of course, if you like what I read, a little donation to a pauper wouldn't hurt).

I'm pretty amazed at how some people can develop feelings easily.  I, unfortunately, happen to be one of those that requires a certain communication flair before I can get along with that person.  As quoted from Quintin Tarrentino's Pulp Fiction, "I hate uncomfortable silences". Could it be because I'm bad at talking?  I've no idea.  I've been told that I'm quite a conversationalist but to have a conversation, it requires two or more people doesn't it?  Or so I'm told.

I've been asking myself the same question over and over again. "Why am I here?"  Issn't it weird that everyone requires some sense of purpose before they feel that they deserve this pathetic life that they've been given?  I would love to do good.  Help the poor, the disabled and all but to be honest, I'm just too darned lazy to get off my boney ass to go do it.

Plus it's a commitment thing.  I don't have problems committing myself to something; the problem is, I tend to commit myself to anything and everything I like.  That sounds stupid but it's my nature or character or whatevery you want to call it.  If Sigmund Freud were alive today, I'm pretty sure he would find me an interesting subject.  Of course I'm not willing to submit myself to the humiliation of being a lab rat but, hey, if that's my purpose in life, who am I to argue with destiny?

Well, I guess this would be end of TSOML Part I.  It's short ain't it?  But then, I hate typing long draggy stuff.  But this I have to add...to get off my chest.

I've enjoyed myself tremendously the past week or so.  So much so that it feels sinful and I'm haunted by guilt.  It's a crappy feeling that I get whenever things go great.  I think I'm a pessimist by nature but expose an optimistic front.  Oh well.  The best feeling in the world is when you're able to spend time with someone special. Good quiet time and your worries are temporarily suspended.  You tend to think of the past and the memory of that person's face, expressions, voice and even scent are permanently engraved in your mind.  You get over it, yes but you never really forget the sensation of being with that person.

Well, I guess I've gone on long enough...time to remove myself from this world of words, into the world of reality.

FreeSpirit.